No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize