hell yes lets make some ravioli
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
