I hate your face
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He had one of those small greek statue penises
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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