u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
