I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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