you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
