when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
