I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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