Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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