Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
