My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i was in the wii world.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
