we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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