careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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