Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
