god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize