don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
