Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
