I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My feet surprised me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
