worst night to have a conscience
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
