I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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