it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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