My nipple is on Facebook.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize