sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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