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• (310): View more from California

  So how was last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Let's just say I danced with the devil

  (310): View more from California

  Huh?

  (1-310): View more from California

  I'm going to Hell for sure

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

  Fav 15 1441 2532

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila

  Fav 20 6285 1189

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.

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• (315): View more from New York

  There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office

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• (805): View more from California

  Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.

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