I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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