Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
