i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
