you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
