when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
