Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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