Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize