I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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