the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
