Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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