She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
