I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
