Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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