I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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