I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
