why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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