So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
