we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the day after is always just damage control
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
