we're blogging at a bar
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
