this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
