im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
