I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
