I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's get the cat blown out
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize