so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
