She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
