That's intense
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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