i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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