you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
