Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i think i just lost a toe
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
