Non-Jews are for practice
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
