Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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