I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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