Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
