please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think my vagina is haunted
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
